Today was a perfect weekend day in the city – beautiful weather and not too many people around. So of course the egregiously stupid decided to pool their resources for a pro-death rally at Queen's Park, ostensibly objecting to not being allowed to contract and spread disease.

The first thing to notice is that there aren't actually very many of them. They're spread thinly along the roadway where they can be seen by the maximum number of people, instead of at the symbolic seat of power that is the legislature building itself. They're putting the PR in protest – this is a stunt, a cry for attention from the social media bots and grifters that they hope to become some day. A desperate attempt, if you'll forgive me for saying so, to go viral.

The other major point here is that they're representing a diverse collection of viewpoints, held across the broad spectrum of people who are complete fuckheads.

The mystifying thing about these colonic assbags is that there's no reason for them to exist. They're clearly mowing the same astroturf lawn as the Re-Open Whatever clowns in America, but Toronto and Ontario are already reopening, with the spike in disease and increased risk that comes with it. I've been at work for a week, gone grocery shopping, and browsed in plenty of big and little stores as well. Lots of people in all of those places don't wear the masks that threaten these Can-Open commandos' faith in white supremacy by suggesting that Asian people figured something out before they did.

And all of those people that I saw shopping were wearing shirts, as required by policy but not by law, although somehow that tyrannical conspiracy didn't make it onto any of these protest signs. It's almost as if they're just looking for an excuse and it's all a pile of bullshit.

"Freedom" is used as a rallying cry. The freedom, perhaps, to gather in large numbers with impunity, which they have, and the freedom to advocate that Canada becomes an insipid rehash of the most idiotic elements of American toxicity, which they do. Are.

I mean, look at these doofuses. One swearing that she won't be tracked or micro-chipped because something something lie Bill Gates. Seriously? That's so unhinged that it doesn't even merit being called "debunked". But at least they're trying to get away from the dogwhistle antisemitism of blaming Soros for everything they've made up. 

And that weenie with the "come and take it" sign who fantasizes about killing people: no, the mall-ninja outfit that you put on for the occasion doesn't make me believe for a second that you actually own these guns. No more than I think that the bald guy on the far right – the far-right of this image, and perhaps also in life – actually wants a haircut, despite his clever sign that he saw somewhere else. But it's good to know that he thinks his petty desires are more important that the safety of those who can't refuse paid work. Freedom!

One other little note about this: I was surprised that these clusters of placard-wielding turd waffles walked away westbound on the sidewalk of College street, not southbound down University the way protests with relevance and power do. That part of the city is called "Hospital Row", so maybe these knob balloons have some sense of self-preservation after all.

In case you missed it in the wide shot, here's one of the overt clamshell Q clowns for the Conspiracy Bingo game. For those not familiar with it, this is a byzantine conspiracy theory that something something democrat pedophiles something lizard people something secret messages Simpsons something pizzapong something Emperor Trump. Apparently Canada needs this, perhaps because out of all of those things, the only one Canada has is the Simpsons. And I hear its ratings are down, so why bother.

It's important to be reminded, yet again, that what the right-wing hosenozzles accuse other people of doing is exactly what they themselves do. Spend even a few minutes listening to that lying fucking liar they elected when he's angry or needs a poo and it's irrefutable.

One thing that is genuinely impressive about these Q spankers is their ability to absorb and co-opt every other fantasy-conspiracy that has gained any traction at all, quickly catapulting themselves to being the worst of everything without needing any actual ideas or direction. Sort of like that lying fucking liar himself, and all those who enable him. Admittedly, I haven't been bothered to find out if the Qists and their #WWTDD hashtag have managed to unite the two grand opposites of wonkaville: flat-earthers and alien abductees. If they have then the end times really are here.

So it's worth briefly noting the person in the "flat earth" t-shirt; there was bound to be one in this collection of impotent spoons. I've been a genuine fan of the flat earthers since that lying fucking liar was merely an irrelevant washed-up reality TV character, which predates him being an irrelevant washed-up elected official. Yes, flat earth used to be my go-to relief when I wanted to rejoice in that bastion of the willfully obtuse after a hard day at work. At least I was ahead of the curve when Nikon came out with their billion-zoom cameras, and people denying the existence of gravity and trying to photograph the firmament became part of my day job. 

But the real point from this photo is to send a huge Go Fuck Yourself to the old pro-disease footstool carrying the stolen 'my body my choice' sign. And no, the other side of this did not read Keep Abortion Safe and Legal, which would have been the only thing that would stop this planker from being a reprehensible asshole. Fortunately, being a reprehensible asshole is inherent to joining a collection of chewed gum like this, so I wasn't surprised. I wonder if that sphincter clown realizes how close he is to where forced-birth terrorists tried to commit murder and firebombed a building in my neighbourhood. Would he approve if he knew?

This one actually puzzles me a bit. Yes, the yellow-vesters are there as blatant connection of the neo-fascist white supremacist element to these proceedings, but that's not it. It's the collared shirt and hiking sandals trying to get the military riled up against Bill Gate's Depopulation something something. Seriously, given Clinton and Cosby, this is not the Bill I'd expect a bunch of anime-porn enthusiasts to go after.

Sure, as a lifelong Mac user I understand demonizing Microsoft, though I will admit that they make pretty good keyboards. But Bill Gates? Really? He's barely even rich by today's standards. I'm genuinely puzzled by why the doorhinges who create the propaganda that these clingons are trying to grift from are so against him.

And then there's that other scrub brush on the far right. Why underline 'distancing' when claiming that social distancing is fake science? And what does that even mean? Never mind that we've been calling it 'physical distancing' for over a month now, it just makes no sense. The whole thing makes even less sense than me expecting a participant in this stunt to be literate, either verbally or typographically. I won't even bother wondering what his obligatory youtube channel must be like – you'll notice he's holding a furry-covered shotgun mic in his free hand.

The Toober's also wearing a hand-markered shirt that reads "give me freedom or give me covid". Well, good news: you've got the first one and are working hard on the second, so yay you. I just hope you've told your family that you're refusing medical care if you get sick, and enjoy the freedom to be charged – civilly and criminally – with assault, or worse, for every person you infect if it ever comes to that.

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There were multiple anti-life-saving-medicine signs at the weenie party, along with multiple small children and pregnant people.

Here's the thing about anti-vaxxers or medical-truthers or whatever else they want to call themselves: they hate people with disabilities so much that they choose actual death over the imaginary chance of autism. Not for themselves, perhaps – presumably their parents loved them and got them medical care when they couldn't fend for themselves – but for their children, and for other people. And their wanting to be murders, of their own children and other people, isn't a theoretical or abstract decision. It's one they willingly and continually make, and even if all of their fears are true and their concerns are valid – I won't even bother with a spoiler alert – they're still choosing the side of death and murder over the chance of disability. Fuck them: every single one of them, without exception.

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Clearly, the desire to parade anti-Black racism trumps the blatant irony of carrying an "all lives matter" sign at a pro-disease rally. That joins the messianic "we're the ones we've been waiting for" ego-trip and a shirt that's simultaneously against the only Black president a foreign country has ever had and a software developer who I won't bother to name again. 

But that brings me to one more thing that I wonder every time I see a bunch of real-life twitter trolls like this: at what point do they start to feel ashamed? At what point on their way home do they hide their t-shirts and their signs? Will they walk their neighbourhood sidewalk, or up their driveway, proclaiming that covid 1984 is a 5G hoax and #trudeagate? Maybe. It's deranged, so it's possible. But for some of these people, I'm sure, they're not so bold when they might actually be held accountable for their actions. Freedom, amirite?

I have actually asked this question of a forced-birther shill working for the Center for Bio-Ethical Reform. You can always spot them: they're the fetus-fetishists with the expensively-produced signs. At what point in the journey, from being with your anonymous group on a street corner, to being in your own home and community, do you become ashamed enough to put the sign away?

But he – of course it was a 'he' – wouldn't answer me.