Untitled photo

The Difference Between Letting Go and Giving Up.

Letting go might be a positive thing. Relinquishing what's unnecessary or harmful. It might be a negative thing, but necessary. Adjusting to the death of a brother, or a friend. Or both. It might be liberating. It might not be.

Giving up might be a negative thing. Resilience erodes, efforts fail, things get worse, gradually then suddenly. It might be finding safety, reprieve, a way of reducing to only what can be managed. It might be a complete collapse.

I have a hard time letting go. I have a hard time giving up. I don't like change. I don't like the way things are.

These photos were recorded as part of this process of adapting. There’s no answer here, but there’s also no question, simply the experience of doing less. They are images of things that don’t exist – multiple exposures of one of my sources of comfort and anxiety. Addressing it directly, but without the need for control, has helped.

When I took these photos I felt like giving up. My motivation to get out with the camera was "okay, let's try this thing, and if it doesn't work then at least I can write off one more possibility." That, and to try out a new tripod. I might be depressed, but I'm still me.